Back to school, back on track...

So, no post last week.  Perhaps some of you noticed?  By the time Thursday had sped by, with no opportunity for sitting at the computer, I had decided to wait for Monday and get back on track!

Of course, it's Tuesday now.  Like I've said before, the days just aren't long enough.  Yesterday was a gigantic whirlwind that did not stop until sometime around 11 pm.  This was largely because last night was the first The Sound of Music rehersal.  Yes!  I made it in.  Hooray for me.  I am a nun in the nun's choir (I've chosen the name Sister Mary-Go-Round) and a Baroness that is in the ballroom scene.  I am so excited to back in a show!  




Also, today is Prima and Secondo's first day of school!  (All the moms and dads say, whoo hoo! for back to school).  So, that also added to yesterday's craziness -- last minute "outfit checks," supply list checks, backpack stuffing.  Of course, Prima asked out of nowhere if I could curl her hair this morning (I guess she asked my mum last night as well, after I'd gone.  But, the first I heard of it was 6:20 this morning).  Unfortunately, I am NOT the Mom of the Year today, at least in Prima's mind.  Oh well.  There's always next year.  She had mostly gotten over it by bus time, I think.  I guess I'll know for sure when they get home.  Fingers crossed for a wonderful first day!  


I always worry about their first days.  Who will be in their classes?  Will any friends from last year be there?  Will they connect with new friends?  Will their teachers be kind?  It's nerve-wracking....and I'm here at home.  So, I can understand Prima's upset (though it didn't change anything).  But, I can understand her need to look her best today, of all days in the year.  Those kiddos are going to be sizing each other up.  I know it, and so does Prima.  What I also know, that perhaps Prima doesn't just yet, is that she's a great girl.  Anyone who gets to know her will find it out.  Unfortunately, I sometimes fear that Prima has inherited my insecurity gene, though not nearly so much.  She can be a tough cookie when she wants.  (Her favorite t-shirt when she was about six actually said Tough Cookie!  What a great shirt that was).



Well, I tackled another huge project this past weekend, and that was moving Quarto out of the living room.  I don't know that I've mentioned the living arrangements before now.  But, as of last Friday (before the shuffling of furniture and babies), Prima and Secondo shared a room and I "shared" a room with Terza.  Now, I say "shared" because I haven't slept in there since the night before Quarto was born.  We've been camped out in the living room.  Mostly so that Quarto would wake only me up every two hours, and not his extremely irritable 2 year-old sister. Of course, he's not waking up every two hours anymore, but he's still waking up often enough (2-3 times a night, ugh!).  So, that left the question of -- What the heck was I going to do when I moved them into a room together?  With me squished in there, too?  


I decided a new plan was in order.  (Hooray for logic).  It took a lot of work, but I moved Prima into the bedroom with Terza.  I moved Quarto's crib into the bedroom with Sec.  I moved bureaus, cribs and beds, clothes...it took almost an entire day.  At the end of it all, I'm still sleeping in the living room, but the kids are all squared away.  So, woot!  


Having Quarto sleep with Secondo was a pretty great move, because (unlike his sisters) Sec can sleep through just about anything.  He once fell asleep at my friends' house, and when I woke him to put on his sneakers to go home, he sat there trying to "put on" a piece of paper.  No lie. An old receipt equaled a shoe to him in his sleepy state. I can't tell you the number of times I've laughed over that memory!  It is also not the only "mostly asleep Sec" story going.  The little man can SLEEP.  So, he's the perfect roommate for Quarto, who is also used to some background noise while sleeping (from these months in the living room).  Secondo doesn't wake him with tossing and going to sleep later than him, and Quarto doesn't wake Sec up when he's ready for a bottle or bum change.  Hallelujah!  Now, if I could just get Quarto to sleep through a whole night!  (A lady can dream...).


Now for the not so great news...I haven't gained any weight back, but I've also stopped losing.  (You may have already suspected, as my weigh-ins have grown conspicuously non-existent).  I know exactly why.  I haven't been working out regularly.  I haven't even been counting my calories on myfooddiary.com.  Sigh.  This is nothing new.  It always happens when I'm losing weight.  I get distracted by other things.  I lose focus.  I get LAZY.  What doesn't always happen, what *never* happens, what I am determined to have happen this time, is that I Shape Up! I am determined to get back on track.  The big kids going back to school should help.  Getting back to a regular schedule and routine will certainly help.  Plus, I've taken the biggest step (in my mind) of saying to everyone -- I've been slacking.   I hate admitting it.  So, it's a pretty big motivator to be able to come back next week and say, I'm back, baby!  


So, watch for next week's post.  I am going to try to get back to those Monday posts.  (For real this time.  No, for realz). Have a wonderful week full of love, laughter, and joy.


all love, 


nik*

Off without a Hitch

cupcake bouquet

So, the party was a success.  Extraordinary friends + outstanding family = one terrifically awesome party!  Terza had a great time, minus a few moments when the fun-time hullabaloo became a little overwhelming.  The "schedule" really ended up being an invaluable tool.

   

mum, roses, sunflower, carnation, rose 

I baked the cupcakes ahead, as I told you last time.  On Saturday evening, I went about frosting them.  About four hours, and nine cups of buttercream, later -- a cupcake garden!  I had a great time making them, with my laptop sitting next to me, rewatching some tutorials I'd bookmarked the week before.  I was very happy with the way they turned out.

the goody pails

I was able to get most things done ahead of time, so I didn't feel so overwhelmed the actual day of the party.  There were still plenty of last-minute tasks, like setting up the table and hanging some decorations, some light tidying up...but I had planned for all of that, too!

It made the day so much more enjoyable!  Who knew?  My mother was right all these years; I shouldn't put off to tomorrow what I can do today.  Or, Stop Procrastinating!

I often feel like this...

I have unfortunately been unable to focus my attention on other things, though.  There just never seem to be enough hours in the day!  I want to do so many things.  


I want to...record songs, listen to my Spotify acct, write new stories (and work on the old ones), read everything (like finishing The Happiness Project - of which I've gotten through about half, or starting The Help, or The Hunger Games, or Cloud Atlas), workout more (I've been telling myself I was going to start the Couch 2 5K regimen for the past week or so, but, um, no, haven't gotten to that.), play with each of the kiddos doing exactly what they want to do, go see shows...  


I want to...play my guitar, write in my journal, go to the beach (even though I hate sand and bathing suits), ride bikes with the kids, go see a movie, clean the inside of my car (so my mum will stop telling me how gross it is...because,sigh, it is gross), play basketball with Secondo...

I want to...work on the layout for this blog, help Prima and Secondo clean under their beds, organize all of the craft supplies, go swimming in the pool, reconnect with old friends, paint pottery, get more SLEEP, explore the idea of starting a small baking/homemade invitation/party favor business, stay on top of the laundry situation, take Terza and Quarto for walks, go to the gym (still have the membership, still haven't found the time to set foot inside the door), look up new recipes for our family dinners, and so much more!


I've got about four different task lists going on my calendar now.  It's helping to keep me (somewhat) focused.  Yet, I am forever stuck with this feeling:  I want MORE TIME.  


Of course, there is a positive upside to this feeling.  I want more time because there are so many awesome possibilities in each and every day.  That's a big change, a great change.  To face each day with a new attitude of, "how much awesome can I wring out of this day?" instead of "ugh, what now?" is fantastic.  (I still have those UGH moments.  Don't we all?  I'm not trying to pretend that my funk of two weeks ago is completely gone.  I'm just trying to focus myself differently.  Taking control of my outlook!  It's key.  For example (and, yes, I realize this is yet another tangent):  Twice in the past few days I started feeling bummed out around 10 or so at night.  So, instead of feeding the feeling by staying up even later, I just switched off the computer, tv, music, everything, and *gasp* went to bed.  Yes, I actually just went to sleep with the thought, I'll just start fresh tomorrow.  Wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles.).  

Of course, I want to do a million things, and I am filling my days with as many of them as possible.  The auditions for The Sound of Music are this weekend and I am looking forward to it!  Remember: fingers and toes crossed, please.  Hopefully, I will have a few great things to report next week (perhaps I will even get back on a Monday post schedule?).  


Here's to a wonderful weekend.


All love,


nik*

It's birthday time!



tissue paper flowers for our 'garden'

Today is Terza's birthday.  The little lady is two years old.  What a big girl!  It's hard to believe that two years have gone by so very quickly.

This week has been pretty great.  I've been too busy to think (about the things that were causing me so much stress the past few weeks), which was - quite honestly - a welcome break!  Making decorations and cupcakes, etc, has really been mostly for me, because let's face it, Terza is two.  She's got no idea that it's her birthday, or that she's having a party.  She just wants a cupcake. STAT!

tissue paper butterflies
 and "flower balls"

The party is this weekend and I've been busy making a 'Backyard Garden Party" bonanza for Terza and her little toddler buddies.  Every year, I make the kids' birthday cakes, but this year I decided to make most of the decorations as well.  It takes my mind off things and I enjoy the craft-time with Prima (who loves to help out!).

Terza LOVES hats.  Earlier today she was running around with a chicken hat on, yelling "Hat! Hat! Hat!" in her loudest, happiest voice (Yes, I said chicken hat.  A felt chicken hat.  It's hilarious.  Seriously.  It is seriously hilarious.).  So, I decided to make her a hat for her party, instead of the run-of-the-mill cone party hats.  I took a plain straw hat and added two kinds of pink ribbon and some flowers we had left over from another project.  Voila! a garden hat!



With the same idea in mind, I decided to forget about those tiny, flimsy, plastic "goody bags" this year.  Instead, as I was food shopping with my mum a few weekends ago, we noticed pails/shovels sets and bottles of bubbles on clearance.  I mean, we're talking *SUPER* cheap.  (My favorite kind of cheap, almost as good as FREE).

48 cupcakes - to be frosted into
beautiful flowers tomorrow! Yum.

So with this party looming, I've really been trying my best at Time Management.  It has never been my forte, but I'm working at it.  I made a schedule for myself at the start of the week (using Google Calendar, what a nifty tool.  I'm sure there are others online that are interesting, I just happened to already have a google account.  I'd never used the calendar before, but after only a week, I'm not sure how I ever lived without it!). 



Anyway, like I said, I made myself a schedule and I've largely stuck to it.  I created task lists and reminders.  I spread everything that needed to get done out over the week.  It was all very organized (and perhaps a tad obsessive).  But, the usual "schedule" of putz around all week until Saturday when I try to cram everything in at the last second and half-ass a good portion of it really sounded unappealing to me this time.  In fact, I think I could get used to organized MamaNiki.  Yes, I could.

the workstation - making name tags for the goody pails

my life (lately) in nursery rhymes

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells, and cockle shells,
And pretty maids all in a row.



Okay, my name is Niki, not Mary.  But you get the idea.  I've been feeling quite contrary lately, as I continue to slosh through a time abounding with tension.  I have also continued to consider pretending that everything is 100% fine.  Really, who wants to read, week after week, that I'm having a bad time of it?  Then, I think of my own preferences.  I certainly prefer honesty over pretense, even when it is difficult to take the honesty; I like to feel emotionally connected and invested in what I am reading, especially as I don't have a lot of free time to invest; I find it helpful to read about the ways in which other people have gotten through their rough patches.  So, I continue talking about my tension and how I'm trying to push through it.  Hopefully, it's helpful to someone aside from me.  I have been trying, contrary feelings or not, to continue to grow my garden.  Um, my "me" garden?


I got the idea for this week's post while reading a Mother Goose book to Terza.  Prima and Secondo have been with Uno and his family for the past week and a half. I miss the bigs like crazy, but it's also been nice to have some time with just the littles.  Because most of the time, I feel like this lady (only, minus the whipping and withholding food.):

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.

She had so many children, she didn't know what to do;
She gave them some broth without any bread;
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.

Having some time to read a book with Terza while Quarto takes a nap, without worrying about whether or not Prima and Secondo are getting enough Mommy time, is nice.  It's also the rare occasion when Terza will sit still long enough to listen to a book!  She made it through about two rhymes before she went running for the hills...well, for her toys anyway.

So, sitting there with an empty lap and an over-sized book, I began looking through nursery rhymes.  Then, being the modern girl I am, I decided to reach for the internet (as I so often do) and search familiar nursery rhymes there.  I came across this old favorite and decided to check out which day I was born on.  Of course, as it turns out, I was born on a Wednesday!  (Luckily, I'm not sold on the credibility of these predictions!).

©2000 Denise Van Patten -
http://collectdolls.about.com

Monday's child is fair of face,

Tuesday's child is full of grace,

Wednesday's child is full of woe,

Thursday's child has far to go,

Friday's child is loving and giving,

Saturday's child must work for a living,

But the child that's born on the Sabbath day 

Is fair and wise and good and gay.

So, honestly, why am I so afraid of having people know that I'm having a difficult time?  We all have them: bad days, bad weeks, the dreaded Bad Year. So, why am I so afraid that maybe I *am* a "Wednesday's child?"

Well, no one wants to be seen as weak, do they?  I certainly do not, and I'm fairly sure most people feel the same.  And it is in times of pain that we feel weakest, broken.  This guy knows what I'm talking about:


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

And you know why they couldn't?  Why all those people couldn't just slap Humpty together again?  Well, I am going to hazard adding a new last line:
...because he had to do it himself!  


Obviously, I'm talking about myself here.  So, I'm Humpty and I've got to do it my(damn)self.  Amid all the commotion of kiddos and cleaning (there's always so much cleaning!)...


That reminds me of my second-to-last rhyme for today:

Here we go 'round the mulberry bush,
The mulberry bush,
The mulberry bush.
Here we go 'round the mulberry bush,
So early in the morning.

These are the chores we'll do this week,
Do this week,
Do this week.
These are the chores we'll do this week,
So early every morning....

Okay, this one is way too long.  If you'd like to check out the whole thing, you can see it here.  Let's just say, there's a LOT of cleaning.  And, like the song, the continuous nature of tidying up often reminds me of going 'round and 'round a mulberry bush...a mulberry bush of annoyance and repetition!  I don't know a person alive who actually ENJOYS cleaning.  Oh, I know people who like the end result (everyone likes a clean and tidy house), I just don't think I know anyone who likes creating the tidiness.  If you've discovered the secret to honestly enjoying getting behind a mop, or making a bed, or picking up the same toy for the fifth time in a single day, please share it with me!  I may be getting better about doing it, but I still loathe every second of it. 


So, what was I typing before my I-hate-cleaning-wahhh-me rant?  Ah yes.  I was splattered on a sidewalk, looking out for some men or horses to put me back together...and realizing no, I have to do it myself.  My(damn)self, even.  Easier said than done.  Once you're a big sidewalk scramble, it's hard to get all the bits back where they belong.  Of course, you could hard-boil your insides; it would be a lot easier to reattach a shell to a harder interior.  But that's not what I want.  Not by a long shot.  For better or worse, I like my runny yolk center.  I don't want past disappointments to harden my outlook or my emotions.  I feel like to some extent it has happened already, as with my constant chorus of "I don't ever want to be with someone again."  So, maybe I'm soft-boiled.  I can deal with that, for now.  


Another reason I fear telling about my "woe?"  I don't actually feel perpetually woebegone.  My mood rises and falls many times over the course of my week.  Over the course of my day, even.  In the mountain range of my emotional day, there are almost as many peaks as there are valleys.  Maybe even a plateau or two.  I guess I just wish that the valleys were fewer and farther between, which is why I have started reading The Happiness Project and why I'm so gung-ho about talking out these blues-y feelings.  (Side note:  My sister is in a play this weekend, and we bought a bunch of iron-on transfer paper for some t-shirts.  I am now seriously considering making a shirt that says "Soft Boiled" with the leftovers.).


So, quickly, let's update on how things are going.  (The cultivation of my "Me" garden?).  


I'm currently weighing in at 177.4 lbs.  Pretty decent, considering I've been a little looser on the food reigns of late.  62 days later, I've lost 22.6 lbs and 16.5 total inches.  Not bad for about two months of work.  


Also, I am getting excited for the The Sound of Music auditions.  The audition dates have been set for August 21st and 22nd.  It is good to have that goal coming closer; it helps to re-focus my energy on working out and eating right.  Remember, fingers crossed, please!


So, lovelies, I'll leave you with one last rhyme.  As always, I hope you are all doing well and feeling great.



The Man in the Moon looked out of the moon,
  Looked out of the moon and said,
"'Tis time for all children, on the earth
  To think about getting to bed!"




All love, 


nik*






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